My Journey From Trauma Into Joy-Based Service

The Journey of an Accidental and Resistant Channel

I sometimes call myself an accidental channel, because this work began unexpectedly in 2006 when Archangel Michael came through during a client session. But for many years, I was also a resistant channel, struggling to embrace this path as I lost key relationships along the way.

Accepting and owning my role as a spiritual conduit was not easy, and it was often met with resistance — not only from within myself, but also from those closest to me. Friends and family sometimes struggled to understand my new beliefs and abilities.

My marriage ended, in part, because I chose to stand with my guide SAM and the work I was called to do. My parents also struggled deeply with my channeling. My father once asked angrily, 'Who do you think you are, God?' and my mother often said she liked me better ‘before SAM’ and wished SAM would just go away.

After several years of trying to make these relationships work — through counseling, deep conversations, and repeated attempts at understanding — I realized I needed distance. I had to choose myself and my path, because I was not being seen, heard, or understood. While painful, stepping back created the space I needed to honor my soul’s calling and move forward in healing.

Though years have passed since those changes, I have remained committed to living authentically. I’ve explored relationships and dating, but today as of this writing (September 2025) I am still single — knowing I would rather wait for a partner who shares my dedication to self-reflection and inner healing than compromise my path. My two loyal cats remind me daily that love and companionship come in many forms. Yes, that’s right — I guess I am the single lady living with cats. Where is a good meme when you need one?

A Profound Pause: Healing and Rediscovery

Life shifted dramatically during the COVID-19 pandemic (2020–2023). Amidst the collective changes, I felt called to make a long-dreamed-of move to British Columbia, settling in Kamloops in March 2022. This transition brought both new beginnings and the loss of several important relationships.

SAM, the guides I had been channeling for nearly two decades, encouraged me to step back from active client work and devote myself to healing. 'When will you have another opportunity to deeply address your own wounds if you’re always working?' they asked. With the sale of my home in Winnipeg, I had the resources to pause, and what I thought might be a few months became three years of deep personal work.

During that time, I engaged in many forms of healing: traditional counselling, EMDR therapy, equine therapy, art therapy, somatic work, and intensive reading and study. I found spiritual support here in Kamloops through some lovely practitioners as well.

I was still working by leading my one group that I had led for over 15 years, since we had so much karmic clearing to do.  I also continued occasional one-on-one sessions when SAM said I was in the space to hold space for another (it wasn’t often).  Eventually even that group I was running had to disband - for ten months I did no channeling at all.

I joked at the time that my guides had 'sent me on sabbatical' — though it didn’t exactly come with vacation perks or a paycheck. I lived off savings during those three years, trusting that investing in my healing was the right path.

The catalyst for this profound healing was the emergence of long-suppressed memories of childhood sexual abuse, hidden from my awareness from infancy until age twelve. At first I questioned what was surfacing, but through therapy and confirmation from professionals, I came to understand that my memories were valid. At age 50–53, I was finally safe enough to process what had been too painful to hold earlier in life.

This period became a deep study not only of my own trauma, but of trauma itself: complex childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, PTSD, c-PTSD, and the long road of recovery. It took immense inner work to acknowledge and heal what had been hidden for so long. And yet, this was a sacred part of my journey — integrating my inner child, Soul, and Essence more fully than ever before.

The Main Act: A New Era of Joy-Based Service

Healing is never truly finished; it is a lifelong unfolding. But after those three years, I felt strong enough to begin again, now with a new depth of compassion and understanding for my clients.

As I eased back into work, I began to understand why my time with SAM had come to a close. Many of the clients I worked with alongside SAM were connected to me through karmic contracts — some positive, some difficult. SAM’s role was to ensure that these karmic lessons were completed. It took 18 years, but that cycle finally came to a close.

Now, my work is no longer rooted in karmic contracts. It is joy-based. I offer the services I do because I love them, because I am skilled in them, and because they bring healing and clarity without entangling the karmic webs of the past. The new guides I work with — higher consciousness beings including angels and ascended masters— support this joyful, harmonious way of serving.

At 53, I feel that my career is only just beginning. The last 18 years were rehearsal. Now I step into the main act — cue the jazz hands! Ta-daaaa!!